


Roadblock

by upsgirl88



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Love, gotta fix this, i'm sure - Freeform, post episode 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-02-27 21:42:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18747658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/upsgirl88/pseuds/upsgirl88
Summary: When Brienne realizes that Jaime left to sacrifice himself to kill Cersei, not to save her, she sets out with a plan to make sure Jaime doesn't get to King's Landing until someone else has already dealt with her.Jaime had been her first. And her second, third… she didn’t even know how many times they had made love in those weeks together in that room. But the one thing she did know was that Jaime Lannister would also be her last. She didn’t need a man, she never had and never would. But she wanted him. She had wanted him for a long time and it felt incredible when she knew he wanted her too.“You still want me, I know you do,” she whispered to the empty room.  “I will find you and I will stop you,” she vowed.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have been a mess for a couple of days, but slowly I'm coming around. Not gonna lie, yesterday I was ready to completely walk away from writing. I was so devastated and upset that I couldn't even imagine writing these characters ever again. But after a lot of thought and a much needed break from the negativity of social media I'm back. This idea came to me and I tried hard to push it away, but I couldn't. I had to write it. It won't be long. Only a couple chapters, maybe 3. But I just needed to get it out. I hope it helps others who are/were hurting as much as me. Hugs Braime shippers - it was the best of times, it was the worst of times.... XOXOXO

Not a single battle wound, bruise, cut, scrape, stab or even her body being ripped apart by a bear, had hurt as much as watching Jaime ride away. She felt it in a place deep inside her, a place she had fought hard to keep people out of. Now that place had been tore open, shredded, and all she could do was let out the pain with tears and sobs. 

The cold didn’t hit her until much later. Later, when the tears ran out and Jaime was long gone. Brienne shivered and she knew it was time to get back inside. Back to that warm room, with an even warmer bed, where Jaime had laid by her side for weeks. 

She felt numb as she turned, but it wasn’t the cold that had left that that way. Brienne lifted her head and took a step but gasped and stopped in her tracks. Sitting there quietly in his wheelchair was Bran - or whatever it was he called himself these days. She looked around, wondering how he’d got there and what he was doing outside in the middle of the night. The kid always seemed to just appear in random spots, quietly watching, rarely speaking much at all. Quite frankly, it was more than a little creepy. She shivered again. 

“What are you doing out here?” Brienne asked with a sniff. “Did you need help to get somewhere?” She looked around again. Clearly someone had got him there, but there wasn’t another soul to be found outside right then. 

“No, I’m fine. I quite like the cold and the calm of the quiet night,” he replied, his voice gentle and soothing. “But I do have a message for you,” Bran added. 

“A message?” Brienne wiped the last of the tears away. “From who?” 

“Jaime Lannister,” Bran replied, eying her, his expression giving away nothing. 

Just hearing his name caused a stabbing sensation in her heart. “Jaime’s gone,” she said bitterly. 

“I know,” he said with a nod. Of course you do, Brienne thought. He knows everything. She still didn’t fully understand what Bran was or how his gift worked. “But still, I have a message for you.” 

“How?” She eyed him suspiciously. 

“Doesn’t matter,” He shrugged off her inquisition. 

Brienne sighed. He really was a frustrating little fuck and she wasn’t in the mood for games. But her curiosity was on high alert. “What’s the message then?” 

“He said, ‘Never doubt what we shared. I had never been happier in my entire life.’ Just like that,” Bran repeated the first words. “Never doubt what we shared.” 

Brienne wanted to cry again but she held back the tears. “Why would he say that… and then leave?” She spoke the words out loud but she wasn’t really asking the question to anyone but herself. 

“That’s what you need to figure out,” Bran said. It seemed like he wanted to say more but didn’t and she sensed there was some urgency to his usually calm demeanour. 

After confirming he didn’t need her help Brienne started to head inside. She didn’t even get back to her room before it hit her. Nothing had made sense. None of it. And it was because she’d been looking at the whole thing wrong. Jaime wasn’t going back to Cersei to save her or to die with her - he was going back to sacrifice himself to make sure she died - likely even to kill her. 

Brienne’s mind was whirling. That’s why he didn’t leave until he found out that Cersei was still alive and that Euron’s fleet has ambushed the others. She actually felt like an idiot for ever thinking it was anything different. If Jaime wanted to save Cersei he would have left before the troops, right after the war. He would have ran back to her as fast as he could to warn her that Dany was coming with the rest of the men and her dragons. But he didn’t. He stayed. 

The damn fool was going to martyr himself and try to save more innocent people, just like he’d done when the Mad King wanted to burn the city. Brienne hated that Jaime believed he still had to make up for the bad things he’d done. This was his final atonement. His final chance to finally forgive himself for everything he’d done for that hateful woman. 

Brienne entered her room and started to pace. She was lost deep in her thoughts and she was struggling to control her emotions. Why had he been so cold to her when he left? Why had he tried to sneak away in the middle of the night? Of course. Of course! It was so she wouldn’t try to stop him. He wanted to hurt her so bad she would hate him and not try to follow or get him to come back. He wanted her to truly believe that he had left her for Cersei and that he would never be over his sister. 

“How could I be this fucking stupid?” Brienne hissed. Now what? She wondered. She paced some more. Jaime was the man of honour she always knew he was but that honour was going to get him killed. She knew there was absolutely no way she could stop him. This was something he felt like he needed to do. He somehow believed that he was responsible for Cersei’s actions and he needed to be the one to stop her. 

The only thing she knew in that moment was that she had to stop him. She had to save Jaime from himself and the death sentence he had imposed on himself. But how? If Jaime made it to King’s Landing, he was could be in the midst of a war. Dany was going to burn that city and everyone in it, including Jaime, whether he ever got to Cersei or not. No one would survive, innocent people would burn if Cersei didn’t surrender and Cersei would never surrender. 

“I will stop him, even if I have to kidnap him and hogtie him….” That’s when it hit her. If she stopped him that way Jaime would never forgive her. But if Cersei was already dead by the time he got there… Brienne was well aware that Arya was also on the way to King's Landing to kill the queen. They all figured it out pretty quickly when she disappeared the night of the feast. If she let Arya get there first… hells, she could already be there… Time. I just need to somehow stall him long enough for Cersei to be dealt with, Brienne decided. But it had to be her secret. There was no way Jaime could ever know she was the reason he didn’t make it there in time. 

She took a look around the room as she let her robe slip to the floor and reached for her clothes. His memory was everywhere. She could see him, his eyes twinkling in the firelight. She could smell his scent, lingering in the air. When she closed her eyes she could feel the whispers of his fingertips caressing her naked skin. 

Jaime had been her first. And her second, third… she didn’t even know how many times they had made love in those weeks together in that room. But the one thing she did know was that Jaime Lannister would also be her last. She didn’t need a man, she never had and never would. But she wanted him. She had wanted him for a long time and it felt incredible when she knew he wanted her too. 

“You still want me, I know you do,” she whispered to the empty room. “I will find you and I will stop you,” she vowed. 

She quickly dressed and started packing supplies. Brienne closed her eyes and one last time she let herself remember the feel of his mouth on hers that very first kiss. He’d attacked her midsentence, eagerly, passionately. His mouth tasted of Dornish wine, just like hers did. They may have both been a little buzzed, but she could remember everything about that night. Every touch. Every whisper. The way it felt when he was inside her and the intense longing and craving she felt for him. She hadn’t allowed herself to imagine that anything could feel so good, but it had and she knew he’d enjoyed it too. 

Once again she chastised herself for ever doubting the way Jaime felt about her. He never would have made love to her even once, not countless times, if he was still in love with Cersei. He was too good, too honourable. He wouldn’t hurt her. He was trying to defend the innocent, just like the vows they had both taken. 

She was suddenly struck with a moral dilemma… was she condemning the innocent citizens of King’s Landing to their deaths if she stopped Jaime? Brienne quickly shook away that thought. None of them could predict the future. The one thing she did know was that if she didn’t stop Jaime he would very likely die - so for right then he was her focus, he was her “innocent.” 

Brienne forced her eyes open. There was only one problem she still had to take care of. She swore an oath to defend Sansa and she couldn’t break that oath. But she was running out of time. If he got too far away she wouldn’t catch up in time. She had to leave that very night. 

When Brienne opened her door, dressed and ready to go, she stopped dead in her tracks. There he was again, waiting outside her door like he knew she would emerge right then. What the fuck? “Go Brienne. I’ll talk to Sansa. She will be safe until you return.” 

“But I swore an oath?” Brienne replied. And how the fuck did he know exactly where she was going? 

“You will keep Sansa safe by leaving, you must trust me,” he stated. “Trust me Brienne. And go.” 

She hesitated slightly and then nodded. “Look out for Podrick until I get back,” she added. 

“He will be fine. Hurry,” Bran said. 

Brienne took off for the stables with all her gear. She found a horse, got it saddled up and packed quickly. Her heart was beating with anticipation. 

Brienne set out through the castle gates, just as Jaime had not all that long before her. She would ride all night if she had to but she would catch up and she would find him. She would follow him and she would make sure this was the longest and most disastrous trip along the Kingsroad that Jaime had ever taken, filled with detours and roadblocks. She honestly wasn’t sure exactly what she was going to do quite yet, except for her very first task. She smiled at how easy step one was going to be. A man travels much slower on foot than he does by horse. All she had to do was make sure when Jaime woke up - his horse was long gone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it turns out this might be a few more chapter than I had planned, but I would like to have it finished before the next episode airs, so it won't be too long. I should have chapter 3 up tomorrow. Hope you guys enjoy!!

It took her riding through the rest of the night and partway into the next day before she finally closed in on Jaime. She knew he would take the fastest and safest route possible, which meant staying mostly on the Kingsroad. At some point on the journey, unless she was able to stall him significantly, there was a good chance they would catch up to Jon and the troops, which would lead Jaime to veer off the Kingsroad for sure. There was still some time before she had to worry about that though, and now that she was pretty sure she had him in her sights, the sabotage could begin. Brienne didn’t like that word, it sounded so villainous and negative, but she was going to deliberately obstruct Jaime on his journey - the very definition of sabotage. 

She spotted what she assumed was his fire. There weren’t many people in the North because they had lost countless men in the battle and those who could still fight were headed to King’s Landing with Jon and Davos. The women and children who survived were still at Winterfell. It had been a huge relief when she finally spotted the smoke curling up into the sky from somewhere just off the side of the main road. 

Brienne couldn’t risk starting her own fire, so she knew the nights would be long and cold, but she was getting used to the bitter cold of the north and would handle it far better than Jaime, that’s for sure. She thought about his comment, _I hate the fucking north_ and smiled. He was such a fucking baby sometimes, whining and moaning about everything. Too hot. Too cold. Too hot… her mind wandered to what had happened that night because Jaime was too hot. Would it have happened if they weren’t slightly drunk in her warm room? Would it have happened if she hadn’t walked off, angry with Tyrion putting her on the spot that way? 

Brienne was sure it would have, at some point. The way he sounded when he was talking about Tormund. _You sound quite jealous_ , she had told him. And he’d admitted he truly did. The alcohol was just enough to allow them to drop their guards and admit their feelings, not with words but with their bodies. Jaime wouldn’t have sex with her just for the sake of having sex, or just to make her a woman. He cared about her, deeply. And what happened between them was his way of telling her he was in love with her without actually saying the words. 

_I’ve never slept with a knight before_. His words had a profound impact on her, even then, and left her tingling. She was a knight, because he made her one. Brienne knew he’d only ever been with Cersei before her and it was an undeniable contrast, the two of them, with their hair colour being about the only thing they had in common. Cersei may have been his twin physically, but Brienne realized that in terms of core values and morality there would be no person who was a closer match to Jaime than her. She was his mirror image in that sense even if they looked nothing alike. 

Brienne tied her horse and crept as close as she dared to the fire. Even from a great distance, she knew it was him. The sun would set soon, so she would have to wait until it was dark before she would be able to release his horse and lead it away. So she found a comfortable spot to rest and just watched him. 

What’s going in in your mind right now? Brienne wondered. Are you thinking about me? Are you missing me as much as I miss you? Do you doubt your decision at all? She desperately wanted to run to him and ask all those questions to his face, but she already knew what would happen - he would push her away like he did the night before and it would hurt every bit as much as it did the first time. There was only one solution to the problem and she was on the right path. 

Brienne needed sleep badly, but there was no way to guarantee she would wake up before Jaime got up himself and took off. She had to wait, get the horse away from him and then she could sleep. While he was on foot it wouldn’t take her long to catch up with him again the next day. 

Jaime fussed around a bit and it looked like he was eating something. Her stomach rumbled and Brienne decided it was a good time for her to get some food into her as well. She nibbled at the bread she had grabbed while the sun set and it got darker. Before long Jaime was nothing more than a shadow and all she could see was his fire. She got to her feet and started creeping closer. Brienne ducked behind a tree when she saw him get up suddenly. It only took a moment for her to realize he was just taking a piss. 

Jaime returned to the fire and lay down to sleep. He was about 10 feet away from where he’d tied the horse. She was pleased to see that he hadn’t left the supplies or the saddle on the horse as she really didn’t want to risk waking him while she removed the bags. And honestly, it would look pretty damn suspicious if a horse thief was courteous enough to go to that effort. 

Brienne fought off the fatigue a little longer as she waited to be sure he was sleeping. After sharing a bed with Jaime for a while she knew the man could fall asleep in a matter of seconds and there hadn’t been a time he wasn’t sleeping within a few minutes. She waited a few extra minutes to be safe and then made her way to the horse. 

Five minutes later Brienne was slowly leading the mare away, hoping she would stay quiet and follow obediently until they were long out of earshot. There were a couple loud snaps when the horse stepped on twigs and branches, but nothing loud enough to wake Jaime. The further away she got the more excited Brienne was - mission accomplished. 

When she finally got back to her own mount she climbed up and led Jaime’s horse a couple miles North, then gave the mare a slap and sent her running into the night. With a sigh of relief she slipped off her horse, tied him up and prepared to sleep. Despite the cold she was out in a matter of minutes. 

After a dreamless night Brienne woke the next morning to the sound of birds chirping. She knew the birds started their song at first light, so at least she had a natural alarm clock to help. She ate quickly and set out to catch up to Jaime again. She honestly wasn’t sure what her next move would be, but Brienne figured she had a while before Jaime would find another horse. 

A while turned out to be three fucking days. It only took him three damn days to find himself a horse to steal. Brienne growled in frustration as she watched him, but the relief on his face to have a ride again made her heart melt some. It also reminded her that she hated what she was doing to the man she loved. You have to hurt him to help him, a voice told her. Brienne sucked in a breath when it struck her that he had done the exact same thing to her. 

She closed her eyes and thought about the last time she had touched him. She could still feel his beard against the palms of her hands and she longed to touch his face again. He’s right there, so close… Brienne’s heart ached and her body yearned to hold him. “Jaime,” she whispered out loud. 

It wasn’t possible that he heard her. He was way too far away. But slowly he turned and looked back in her direction. She was out of sight, he couldn’t have spotted her anyway, but the moment was jarring. 

It wasn’t too long after that Jaime stopped and started to make a fire. Brienne found a spot and got herself settled while she started to think of a new plan. She had considered taking his horse again, but it would seem pretty suspicious and she suspected he would take measures to be sure it wasn’t possible again anyway. If he would spend the night in an Inn there were possibilities but so far he had been sleeping outside by his little fires. 

She was tired and frustrated. The plan had seemed so easy at first, but it wasn’t falling into place the way she had hoped it would. If worse came to worse she would find some rope and tie him to a tree, risking him hating her for the rest of eternity, but at least he would still be alive. Maybe I could hire a couple of sellswords and they could kidnap him for me, Brienne thought. She almost laughed out loud at the stupidity of that idea. Where in seven hells was she going to find a sellsword in the middle of the fucking nowhere North? And even if she did - she didn’t have near enough money to buy one that could handle Jaime. Where’s that Bronn guy when I need him? She wondered. 

Brienne took a peek at Jaime to make sure he was indeed setting up camp and then went back to her ponderings. What about a trap of some sort? She would have to get way ahead of him to have enough time to set something up… No, that won’t work, she decided, after quickly weighing the pros and cons. What she needed was a way to make the road impassable at a point where he couldn’t just get around it. She smiled when the idea finally came to her. She knew her next move. It would be tricky to pull off but she knew she could do it. She had to. 

Brienne had lost sight of Jaime while she’d been distracted by her thoughts. She cursed under her breath and crept closer to try and get a better vantage point and find him. She was crouched down, hidden by several large trees, but as she peeked out to look for him a hand closed around her mouth from behind. She could feel the leather glove on her face and smell the scent as she struggled. She couldn’t yell and risk Jaime hearing her, so she threw an elbow hard into the ribs of her attacker and as soon as they lost their grip she drew Oathkeeper and spun…


	3. Chapter 3

Jaime came to a stop at the edge of the bridge and sighed. He couldn’t have gone any further if he wanted to anyway because the bridge was not passable. Not on horseback at least. If he was on foot he could have climbed over all the logs, branches and other debris blocking his path, but it was too wide and high to attempt jumping over and risk the horse breaking its leg. 

This was just one of many problems he’d encountered since leaving Winterfell almost two weeks earlier. He should have been past halfway by that point, but he was lucky if he’d made it a third of the way. If he believed in the Gods he would think they were conspiring against him. But to that point he’d just chalked it up to shit luck. 

A stolen horse early on… that was his own fault. There are always sketchy people lurking along the Kingsroad. He should have known better and protected his ride. Then there was the morning he’d been locked in his room at the Inn he’d stayed at. It took hours before someone finally let him out. He’d been the only one staying there and the owners had gone out hunting that morning. He’d wasted more than half a day yelling and banging on the door. The very next day he’d been stuck with severe diarrhea and had to stop every 20 minutes to take a shit. It had to be from the food or water he’d taken from that fucking Inn so Jaime had thrown it all out. He’d been so weak and tired he slept most of the following day. 

The last few days before he’d arrived at the bridge had actually gone well and he was starting to believe his run of bad luck was over… but clearly he was wrong. “Seven Hells,” he cursed out loud. It was going to take the rest of the day and part of the next morning to clear a wide enough path for the horse. Jaime couldn’t understand why someone would block the bridge in this manner. It was actually a shortcut off the Kingsroad that wasn’t well travelled, but Jaime knew about it from when he’d made the trek as Brienne’s prisoner. 

The knife that had been stabbed into his heart since he left Winterfell twisted at the thought of Brienne. Those first few miles that morning had been absolute torture and agony. He rode south but every fibre of his mind and body was being pulled back to her. It hurt more than any pain he’d ever felt in his life. When he left Cersei it had been the exact opposite. It was like a weight had been lifted off him. He felt light and quick. But riding away from Brienne was dark and heavy. 

Every time he closed his eyes all he could see were her tears. Her voice echoed in his mind, telling him he was a good man and begging him to stay - for her. Even almost two weeks later he had to fight every step of the way to not jump on his horse and ride day and night, straight back to her. 

Leaving Brienne.... No, hurting Brienne, was the hardest thing he’d ever done in his life by a mile. Nothing compared to how difficult it was. The decision to leave on the other hand was easy. There were only two people in the world he cared about and if Cersei won the war, if Cersei lived… they were both in danger. 

Jaime already knew that Cersei had asked Bronn to kill both him and Tyrion. It was no secret that she wanted her little brother dead. She’d wanted that since the day he was born. If she won and defeated Dany Tyrion wouldn’t have Highgarden to give Bronn and Bronn would kill him. 

Then there was Brienne. If Cersei ever found out about him and Brienne she would have her men hunt her down. Cersei wouldn’t just kill Brienne, she would do worse… unthinkable things. 

Jaime couldn’t let Cersei hurt the two most important people in his life. If he had to die to make sure they lived and were safe he would do it, gladly. So yes, the decision to go was easy. Actually leaving, was not. He knew he couldn’t tell Brienne his plan. She never would have let him go. The only way he could get away and leave her safe at Winterfell was to break her big, beautiful heart. 

The time he’d spent with her in the North was the happiest he’d been in his entire life. He hated the North, it was true, but he loved that woman so much it really didn’t matter. The first night they had slept together was incredible and it only got better every time they made love after that. His groin ached thinking of the time they’d spent together in that bed, under those furs, on tops of the furs, on the floor by the fire… and that one time he’d taken her against the wall. 

All he had wanted was to be her first… and her last. But as much as it hurt to think about, he truly hoped she would find someone else, someday. She deserved someone who could give her the life he’d wanted to give her. She deserved someone who made her smile and laugh. She deserved someone who would never break her heart the way he had. 

“Brienne,” he said softly, looking up into the sky. There were times he swore he could feel her presence, like a ghost, haunting him and reminding him of everything he’d left behind. In weak moments he allowed himself to think about the possibility that he could somehow kill Cersei and still make it out alive, then return to Brienne. But deep down Jaime knew the chances of him making it out of King’s Landing alive was pretty much zero. This was a suicide mission through and through. 

Jaime set to work, tugging at branches and logs. It only took 15 minutes to start sweating from exertion. It wouldn’t have been easy work even if he had both hands, but with only one it was tedious and exhausting. He seriously considered setting the wood and brush on fire, but the risk of it spreading and raging out of control was too great. 

It didn’t take long before he was angry and completely miserable. He kicked a log, hurt his foot and fell to the ground cursing and pouting. Jaime lay there until his foot stopped throbbing and then slowly got up. He took a long deep breath and went back to work. This time he pushed away his anger and frustration and instead he allowed himself to fantasize about Brienne. 

_Her creamy white skin was glowing in the flicker of the fireplace she always kept burning in the room. The curves of her body were always surprising, even though he was more than familiar with each and every one of them. Jaime wanted to be the only man who ever laid eyes on her beautiful body. He wanted to be the only one to ever touch her, kiss her, caress her… he wanted to be the only man who got to feel her on his cock or taste her sweetness._

_“I love you,” Jaime said. The words flowed from him so easily, so naturally, and he wondered why he hadn’t told her that before._

_“I love you too,” she replied with a sleepy smile. They had just made love again and Jaime traced the curve of her hip with his fingertips. He could still taste her on his tongue from when he’d buried his face between her legs and licked her until she came. It was quite mesmerizing and erotic to watch her come. Maybe it was because it was still new, or because she had been a virgin for so long, but she seemed to feel it so deeply and profoundly. It was definitely an ego boost as well, to know he could make her feel so incredible._

_Brienne yawned and smiled at him. She reached for his face first and then run her fingers through his hair. Suddenly her face changed and tears sprung to her eyes, “Don’t ever leave me,” she begged as a tear streaked down her cheek._

“Fuck,” Jaime growled. He couldn’t even keep his fantasies from turning into heartbreak and sadness. The new anger he was feeling fueled him and he started madly pulling sticks and logs until he had to stop and catch his breath and then dove back in again, over and over. Jaime had no idea how long he’d been working furiously, but it was almost dark at that point. He surveyed what he’d done and smiled. He had created a path and with only a little bit of cleaning up in the morning he was confident he could get the horse through. 

Jaime ate quickly and made himself a spot to lie down. He didn’t even bother to light a fire, he was too tired. Sleep came quickly and he was out in no time. 

***

“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” he grumbled. “We spend 3 days blocking that bridge. 3 days. And he plows through it in an afternoon.” 

Brienne sighed. She felt just as defeated She really thought the latest plan would delay Jaime for a couple of days at least, or that he would have opted to head back to the Kingsroad and take the long way, which would definitely add a few days. 

“Maybe he’ll fall off the side of the bridge and drown.” 

“That would defeat the purpose of what we’re doing here,” Brienne replied, offering a sympathetic smile. 

“I’m not here for him, I’m here for you.” 

“I don’t think that’s completely accurate,” she said, reaching out to put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I think you and Jaime bonded… I also think you were pretty hurt when he left.” 

The young man swallowed and met her eyes. “I’m your squire. I came for you.” Brienne cocked her head. “But…” Podrick sighed. “He’s alright.” She bit back a smile so as not to embarrass him anymore. Pod had a kind and gentle heart, but he was also very serious about his duties as her squire and he would never admit that he was there for anything more than his devotion to her. 

She had been angry at first when he showed up, but that quickly faded when she realized how much easier things were with his help. Podrick was pretty special to her and she hadn’t realized how much she missed having him around until he showed up. Even though Jaime seemed to be getting through their traps quicker than they would have liked Brienne knew he would be a lot closer to King’s Landing by then if she didn’t have Pod’s help. 

“I’ll take first watch,” Brienne said quietly. 

Podrick nodded and started to prepare his bed. Before he laid down he spoke, “So what’s the plan for morning?” 

Brienne gasped when a new voice spoke the answer from out of the darkness, “In the morning you go back to fucking Winterfell.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second last chapter. Hopefully I can finish up the final chapter this week and wrap this one up :) Thanks so much for reading and for your patience. The last couple episodes threw me for a loop, but I'm feeling inspired again as of late... it's just been work that's been getting in the way. Have a great night!

“You’re too late,” a voice said, startling Jaime. “She’s already dead.” He’d made it almost to the city gates, but he’d seen the smoke billowing up into the sky for the last two days of his journey so the news didn’t come as much of a surprise at that point. 

Jaime turned slowly and looked at Bronn standing there smugly. “How?” was all he asked. It was strange to feel the sadness he did over Cersei’s death, when he’d been headed to King’s Landing to do the deed himself. Maybe part of it was actually a bit of rue that he hadn’t been the one to put an end to her evil reign. As much as he wished that was all it was, Jaime knew deep down he was mourning his sister. No matter what, she was still family, not only a sibling, but his twin, his former lover and the mother of three of his dead children, maybe even a fourth unborn child, though he was nearly certain she’d been lying about that. 

“Poison.” 

“Poison?” Jaime repeated in the form of a question. 

“She sat on the Iron Throne, as the Red Keep was burning all around her and drank a vile of Essence of Nightshade,” Bronn replied with a shrug. “Bitch knew she was done for, but she wasn’t about to give anyone else the satisfaction.” Jaime gave him a look. Again, he hated that his instinct was still to protect Cersei, but it was second nature, whether it made sense or not. 

He thought for a moment. “Sounds like something she would do.” Jaime didn’t think for a moment that her suicide was an act of weakness - it was exactly the opposite, just as Bronn had expressed. She wasn’t about to risk the possibility of imprisonment or torture and she certainly wasn’t going to allow her enemies the joy of taking her life. It made sense. It was a very “Cersei” thing to do. 

“What in Seven Hells were you doing going after her anyway you one handed dumb fucker?” Bronn scoffed. “You had that little psycho Arya Stark and the Dragon Queen both headed to take care of Cersei, yet here you are ready to die. Did your brain turn to shit up in North?” Jaime opened his mouth to speak but Bronn interrupted. “What kind of simple minded moron leaves a warm, wet…”

“Enough,” Jaime snapped. Bronn talking about Cersei was one thing, but Brienne was something entirely different. “You know exactly why I left and exactly why I was heading to King’s Landing.” He swallowed a lump in his throat. “If Cersei lived… if she found out about Brienne and I... if she captured Brienne…” 

“That’s a lot of fucking ‘ifs’,” Bronn interrupted. “What if someone else killed Cersei? What if you came all this way for no reason? What if you broke her heart for nothing?” Jaime felt sick to his stomach. “Oh wait… that’s what fucking happened.” 

“How do you know…” Jaime muttered. 

“I told you I’d be watching… keeping an eye on you,” he replied. “I couldn’t hear what you said to her, but when you rode away I watched her cry… I did hear her sobs.” Panic seised Jaime’s body and he could barely breathe. What have I done? What have I fucking done? 

“What… what do I do now?” he whispered. Jaime Lannister had never felt so unsure of himself in his entire life. Now here he was, completely lost, asking Bronn for advice of all people. Bronn, the sellsword, the knight, the man who had saved his life - also the man who had been hired to take his life. Jaime hadn’t planned on making it out alive. He’d been going to kill Cersei, but fully expecting to die in the process. He hadn’t even allowed himself to consider surviving and what would happen after that. 

“You get your stupid ass back on that horse and you ride as fast as you can back to Winterfell,” Bronn said. “You find that woman and you drop to your knees at her feet. You tell her how stupid you were to ever leave her and you beg her for forgiveness - and you keep begging and grovelling and proving how much you love her until she believes you.” Jaime nodded slowly. “You don’t deserve her, but for some reason she loves you,” he sneered. “Probably your perfect hair or that handsome face… fucking Lannisters.” 

Jaime eyed Bronn for a moment and then reached out his hand and placed it on his shoulder. He squeezed as he spoke, “Thank you.” The contempt left his friend’s face for a moment and Bronn nodded. The moment was short lived, but in those few seconds Jaime felt fairly certain Bronn never would have killed him. 

“Go,” he snapped, shrugging off Jaime’s touch. “I need to go find your brother and collect my land and title. Ser Bronn, lord of Highgarden.” 

“You’ve earned it,” Jaime replied, giving Bronn a smile. 

Bronn hesitated. “Don’t fuck this up Lannister. The two of you have wanted this for years, but you were both too pig headed to admit it. You have a second chance… most people don’t get that.” It was really strange to hear Bronn being serious which made his words even more impactful. 

“I won’t, I swear it,” Jaime vowed. “Brienne and I will bring our 10 children to visit you in Highgarden someday.” 

Finally Bronn smiled and gave him a little shove, “You better go and get working on that then.” 

Jaime realized a few days into his journey North that it seemed to be progressing much quicker than his trip south. When he was one week in without a single hitch he started to get suspicious. Had Bronn been following him all along? Had he tried to slow him down so someone else would kill Cersei before he got there? Jaime let his suspicious mind ruminate on that for a few days, but a fortnight in he decided it was all just paranoia. 

Or maybe, Jaime thought… maybe this is where I’m supposed to be. Maybe the Gods were trying to tell me something before. The Gods, he chuckled out loud. Jaime decided he’d spent way too much time alone and was losing his mind. The rest of the journey he focused on Brienne and everything he was going to say to her. He had lots of time to plan it all to the very last word - and he did - 7 different times to be exact. But not one of them sounded right. 

The last few days of his trip back to Winterfell Jaime worried himself sick over whether Brienne would even talk to him. She might be so angry she punched him in the face the second he appeared. 

When Jaime finally saw the castle he slowed his horse and stopped. It was the moment of truth and he was absolutely terrified. He took a deep breath and then spurred his horse forward with a newfound burst of energy. He had only slept as much as he needed to so as not to die of exhaustion, but in that moment he was wide awake and more alive than he’d felt in days. He was scared, it was true, but Jaime wouldn’t give up. He would get her back - no matter what. 

***

Brienne had been lingering around the courtyard as often as she could every day since her and Podrick made it back to Winterfell. When Bronn had found them a few weeks ago and informed them that Cersei was already dead there was no reason for them to continue to follow Jaime. 

Brienne realized right away that Bronn knew everything. He knew why her and Podrick had been following Jaime and he likely saw all the things they had done to slow him down. But no one mentioned it. It wasn’t until several days later that Brienne started to worry that maybe Bronn would tell Jaime the truth about what her and Podrick had been up to - and maybe he would decide not to come back after all. 

“Any day now,” Podrick said to her as he approached. “He’ll be back - I know he will.” 

Pod had been telling her the same thing, every day for the past week. The first couple days she’d believed it, but it wasn’t as comforting at that point. Brienne didn’t know how to respond anymore, so she changed the direction of the conversation. “Let’s say he does come back… I haven’t figured out how I’m supposed to act. Should I pretend I’m mad? Should I make him grovel?” Considering the secret she was keeping from Jaime she didn’t think it was fair to torture him, but she worried that he might find it suspicious if she gave in too quickly. 

Podrick moved in front of her and looked her in the eye. “You have to tell him,” he said. The relief she felt hearing someone else tell her what she already knew was incredible. Brienne knew she couldn’t possibly move forward with Jaime with something like that between them. 

“He’s going to be mad,” she sighed. 

Podrick nodded. “I’d be pissed if someone stole my horse and gave me the shits, among other things… but he will understand why you did it because he did the same thing to you.” 

Brienne hadn’t really thought of it that way. Both of them had done what needed to be done to keep the other safe. “When did you get so wise?” she asked, looking at her squire fondly. 

Before Podrick had a chance to respond a horse came galloping in through the gates. Brienne knew it was him before she saw his face. She could sense it and feel his presence. Her and Podrick looked at each other and he smiled. “Told you,” he said smugly. “Good luck Ser.” 

With that Podrick was gone. She held her breath and watched Jaime dismount. He didn’t bother to tie his horse, he just dropped the reins and started in her direction. He stopped a few feet short and they stared at one another. “Lady Brienne…” he said softly. 

 

“Ser Jaime…” she breathed. Somehow she held her face neutral so as not to give anything away. And then, with her heart pounding, gaze locked on his... she waited…


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took so long to finally finish this!! But here is the last chapter - finally!

Jaime wanted to kiss her. He wanted pull her against him and kiss her passionately in front of anyone who happened to be watching. But he knew that would be way too confusing for her with how he’d left. “Can we find somewhere to talk?” He leaned in closer and whispered, “I might cry and there are way too many people watching.” Maybe a little humour would help he thought. 

Jaime was pretty sure he saw the tiniest smile before she turned away from him and started walking. There was something else strange too though - she seemed nervous. Well at least she didn’t shove a sword through my bowels, he thought. 

Brienne led them to her room. He saw her hesitate just briefly before she pushed the door open and went in. The second the door closed behind them he moved around to the front of her and dropped to his knees. “I am so sorry for what I put you through,” he started. He hugged her legs, praying she wouldn’t pull away from him and looked up at her. “I need you to know exactly why I left. I wasn’t leaving because I still loved Cersei, I was going to kill her.”

Brienne nodded, “I know.” Her face looked strange… she wasn’t angry at all. Why wasn’t she angry? “Jaime stand up. Please. I need to tell you something and once you hear it I might be the one on my knees begging for forgiveness.” 

Slightly in shock he slowly rose to his feet. What in seven hells was going on? Brienne sighed. “I figured it out pretty quickly. At least I thought I did, and you just confirmed it. I knew you were going to kill her and sacrifice yourself to make sure she died… so, I… well… I followed you.”

“You what?” Jaime gasped. How the fuck had she followed him and he had no idea? 

“I followed you and I… I… I made sure to slow you down.” As her words sunk in it all started to make sense but he was too shocked to speak. “I knew there were other people on their way to kill her, so I figured if I could slow you down enough that she died before you got there that I could save your life.” 

“But, but… it should have been me,” he said, dumbfounded by all the new information coming at him. “I should have been the one to kill her and you, and you… you took that from me.” 

“A thank you for saving my life would have been nice,” she muttered, glaring at him. Her face softened quickly though. “Jaime please don’t be mad, I just couldn’t let you martyr yourself for nothing. Cersei was going to die anyway, it didn’t need to be you. You had nothing to make up for. You had no reason to die.”

“I did have a reason,” he snapped back. “You. I wanted to be absolutely sure that there was no way my sister could hurt you.” 

Brienne stared back at him, her eyes welling with tears. “Well it seems we both had the very same motive,” she said gently. 

“Seems we did…” He had similar tears in his own eyes. “Brienne, Ser Brienne, Lady Brienne, you are one incredible woman, one incredible Knight and the most honourable and selfless person I have ever met…I am so deeply in love with you and I want to spend the rest of my life - with you.” 

There were more tears before she spoke. “Well I guess it’s a good thing you didn’t die,” she teased. “I love you too. So much.” 

How had it been so easy? He’d been fully prepared to beg, grovel, and spend as much time as he needed to make up for what he’d done to her. Yet here they were, looking at one another, confessing their sins and declaring their love, and all was forgiven. But wasn’t that always how it was with Brienne? She was everything he’d just told her she was. She was honourable and so insanely selfless. She understood him like no one ever had and like no one else ever would. Cersei would have made him grovel. She would have made him feel small and piled on the guilt. She would have belittled him and reminded him every day how awful he was. 

Not Brienne though. She believed he was good and she made him good through that belief. He never wanted to disappoint her again. Never. He would be the man she saw for the rest of his life because that was the kind of man she deserved. 

They didn’t speak any more, not for a very long time, not with words anyway. They spoke with their bodies instead - with looks of love, lust, longing and admiration. With touches, soft and gentle caresses, passionate and strong embraces. They made up for each other’s weaknesses, she was his other hand when he needed it, and he was her guide when she didn’t know quite what to do. 

They were two people, but when they were together they truly became one in every way - mind, body and spirit. They could read each other so easily. It was truly special and magical. 

Jaime felt like he was home in her presence. Not just when they were intimate, but simply physically occupying the same space. Home wasn’t a place, it was simply wherever she was. Being inside her though, that was something different. That was like what he imagined the pleasure of the afterlife would feel like, provided he didn’t end up in one of the Seven Hells. 

Jaime knew he’d been Brienne’s first, but he wanted to be her only. If Cersei hadn’t existed maybe Brienne would have be his only too. But he couldn’t change that now, he could only be sure to earn every bit of love and trust that Brienne gave him. 

He moved in and out of her, listening to her moans and her sighs - the most beautiful and erotic sounds he had ever heard, like a song he never wanted to end. When it did end though, there was always next time, and the time after that. He would make love to this woman as often as she would allow him to and in between he would remind her how special she was and how much he loved her. 

Jaime had always been a romantic at heart, though Cersei never had the time or care for such things. Brienne allowed him to be his true self in every way. When their love making was over and he was lying beside her Jaime couldn’t believe he’d managed to get that far away from the love of his life without running right back to her. It was only his desire to keep her safe that was stronger than his desire to be with her. 

“I’m really glad you’re not dead,” Brienne said with a sigh. Jaime reached for her hand and linked their fingers in response. 

“So you have to tell me how you managed all of those things to slow me down,” Jaime said curiously. “The horse was my own fault. If you didn’t take it, someone else might have. I learned my lesson there. But how did you stay awake and watch me? And know where I would go?”

“I left alone, but… I had some help that caught up to me,” Brienne replied. 

“Podrick?” Jaime guessed. The lad was extremely loyal to her like any good squire should be. 

“Yes,” she said. “I don’t know if I could have pulled it off without him.”

“So the Inn, locking me in my room - that was you two?” Brienne propped herself up on some pillows and looked at him, nodding. “And the bridge?” She nodded again. “That must have took you forever.” 

“Yeah and we were so pissed off at how quickly you got through that one,” she laughed.

“But, wait… you didn’t?” There was one more thing that had really slowed his journey. “Please tell me that wasn’t you?” 

Brienne gave him a sheepish look. “I’m so sorry, but it was probably the most effective of everything we tried.” 

“You gave me the shits?” Jaime hissed, sitting up. He couldn’t believe it. 

“I didn’t know it would be that bad. I just put a tiny bit of the laxative in your ale… I guess it’s good stuff,” she said, biting her lip. 

“You thought it was funny to watch me writhing in pain with stomach cramps, my asshole on fire, shitting every 5 minutes for hours and hours?” He said, glaring at her. 

“Not funny, no, not at all. I felt really, really bad… but hey look, you’re still alive, let’s look on the bright side here,” she tried. 

“You are so lucky I love you as fucking much as I do,” he sighed. “I’m not sure my ass will ever be the same again after all that,” he added with a pout. 

“I love your ass and I love you,” she said with a smile. “We could call it payback for the tears I cried when you left…” 

“Okay fine, we’re even,” he conceded. “I will never make you cry again, I promise.”

“And I will never give you explosive dysentery again, I promise,” she replied. 

“Did we just write our own wedding vows?” Jaime joked. They both laughed, but neither missed the fact that he was openly talking about marriage with her. He never imagined he would get married but now, all of a sudden, he couldn’t imagine not marrying Brienne. 

“I promised Bronn we would visit Highgarden someday,” Jaime said, draping an arm across her legs. “I also may have mentioned 10 kids.” 

“10?” Brienne gasped. “Can we maybe just start with one?” 

Marriage. Kids. In the matter of a minute they had broached both subjects and seemed very much in agreement that both were in their future. Once again, it was just so easy with her. There was no drama, no judgement, no criticism, just complete and total understanding. 

How could any man ask for anything more? Brienne was his everything. I am hers and she is mine from this day until the end of my days, he thought. One day soon they would share those words and spend the rest of their lives making them true. 

The end


End file.
